What the Phantom Menace?!

For reasons of cost efficiency, George Lucas chose to only build the Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace sets as high as the tops of the actors’ heads. Anything beyond that line would later be filled using computer graphics. However, he had not considered that one of his key actors, Liam Neeson, was 6’4” tall. Because of this oversight, the lofty Irishman cost the set crew an extra $150,000 in construction fees.

In Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace, The corrupt Trade Federation is planning to further their control of the galaxy by taking the neutral planet of Naboo by force. Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) have been sent to negotiate with the Federation’s leaders. When the negotiations promptly go wrong, the Jedi must escape to the planet’s surface and warn Amidala, Queen of The Naboo (Natalie Portman). Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan plan to escort Queen Amidala to Coruscant. There she will ask the Republic Senate for support. Along the way, their starship is damaged and they become stranded on the remote desert planet of Tatooine where they meet a young slave by the name of Anakin Skywalker. Qui-Gon is adamant that young Skywalker is the prophesied leader for which the Jedi have been waiting. He believes this so strongly, that he is willing to risk everything to bargain for this boy’s freedom and eventually teach him the ways of The Force.

Screen legend George Lucas has begun a new project. For the next six years he will re-release all of the Star Wars franchise films, one every year until the year 2018. The only difference is now they will all be in 3-D. One crucial flaw in this line of thinking is that the technology progresses far too quickly. By 2018, 3-D could very well have gone the same way as Betamax, 8-tracks and Pong. A long time ago in a galaxy not so far away, people once camped out for weeks to see this movie, illegally scalped tickets and extravagantly dressed as their favorite character. Today, I watched the film with no more than half a dozen people in the theater. This is a good indication that the Lucas cash cow has finally run dry. Because the third dimension was added after the initial filming, the 3-D effect actually enhances very few parts of the movie. It was drastically under-utilized and mostly appears in the outer space combat sequences and one pod race. It seems futile to add extra dimensions to a cast of characters that only have one. Completely lacking in chemistry, passion and feeling of any kind, this entire film could have been frozen in Carbonite and no one would have noticed. On top of that, the plot has more holes than both Death Stars combined.  Costarring in this film were Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Ahmed Best, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and Samuel L. Jackson.

If your first reaction to Mr. Lucas’ new project is, “That climactic duel is going to look great,” use caution, young padawan! Fifteen minutes seems like nothing compared to two and a half hours of the loud, sophomoric blathering of Jar Jar Binks. Stick to your trusty DVD collection. In the words of a not-so-wise alien, “Meesa thinkin’ deesa be bad bombin!”

Black, White and Red all Over

George Lucas began developing Red Tails around 1988 but was unable to secure funding. No major studio believed that producing a film featuring an all-black cast would be marketable. As a result, Lucas ended up funding the project with his own money, investing $58 million into the production of the film and a further $35 million towards marketing. He now tentatively is planning for a prequel and sequel.

The thrilling true story of the Tuskegee Airmen flies to the big screen in this old-fashioned World War II rouser. At the height of the war, the Allied Forces are in need of all the troops that they can muster to help break the back of Adolph Hitler’s “Axis of Evil.” Left with few other options, the Pentagon brass must call upon the untested African-American pilots of the experimental Tuskegee Institute training program. Just as it looks like the airmen will be shut down and shipped home, they receive their new orders. Under the guidance of Colonel A.J. Bullard (Terrence Howard) and Major Emanuelle Stance (Cuba Gooding Jr.) they will finally be able to show their mettle in actual airborne combat.  Now, they will sacrifice personal glory for their mission of guarding a fleet of B-17 Flying Fortresses en route to Berlin. But when their mission goes awry, it will be their courage and skill that show that all men are created equal.

Television director Anthony Hemingway makes his feature film directorial debut with World War II period piece Red Tails. Maybe his experience with television is why this film feels like that is the venue for which it was intended. While this was meant to be a period piece, throughout the film the soundtrack is jarringly modern and hip-hoppy. This incongruity makes it impossible for the viewer to believe that these events are happening in 1944. While social conflicts and themes played a major part in this film, the characters were the same disappointing stock we have come to expect from recent George Lucas films. Because these characters are so banal, they cannot pack the emotional punch that was originally intended. Was George Lucas producing this film now only to stave off the criticism he will receive from his re-release of Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace? The character of Jar Jar Binks has frequently been called racially insensitive and even a modern blackface minstrel. Is Lucas attempting to blunt that criticism? If there is a high point to this movie, it will be found in the skies over Europe. The aerial action, dogfights and missions over Italy and Germany were breathtaking. What is even more impressive is that they were completely created with CGI including the cockpits of the lead actors. Fortunately, the earthbound clunkiness is sidestepped by the fact that the majority of this movie is in the air. Costarring in this period piece were Nate Parker, Tristan Wilds, Method Man, Ne-Yo, Elijah Kelley, David Oyelowo, and Bryan Cranston.

This film had the best of intentions. However, they were not executed in a way that was inspiring or worthy of the intrepid men who helped to advance the integration of the military and of America. Surely, they deserve better than cornball dialogue and clichéd characters. Save your money and find a copy of HBO’s The Tuskegee Airmen. You will get more historical accuracy and even some of the same cast members.

Shades of Grey

It is common to see a disclaimer at the end of a movie that states that “no animals were harmed in the in the making of this film.” But that is not the case when it comes to The Grey. While the man-versus-nature film was still in production in British Colombia, director Joe Carnahan wanted to make things more real for his cast. He hired the longtime local trapper Dick McDiarmid to trap and retrieve four timber wolves. Two were to be used as props in the film. As for the others, McDiarmid states, “They wanted a couple more that they were going to try and eat.” Joe Carnahan employed an extreme kind of method acting so that the actors could better understand the fictitious characters’ survivalist mentality. McDiarmid also adds that he never has eaten wolf meat and does not intend to.

John Ottway (Liam Neeson) is a kind of animal expert. His specializes in killing Arctic predators around oil wells so that they cannot attack the workers. While flying to a new well site in northern Alaska, Ottway and his unruly team of roughnecks come upon turbulence. When their plane crashes on the remote tundra, their worst nightmares now become reality. With only a few surviving crewmen, Ottway must defy the merciless cold with little to no resources. Unfortunately, the crew soon discovers that have crash landed close to a den of Grey wolves. Because they are territorial creatures, the wolves will now hunt down and kill anyone they believe to be a trespasser. As long as they stay at the wreckage of their plane, their many sick and wounded companions will only be picked off during the nights to come. Their only hope of survival is to leave the wolves territorial grounds while they still have the time and health to do so.

Writer and director Joe Carnahan is well known for working on projects that are about as far from “serious material” as you can get. These include Narc, The A-Team and The Smoking Aces franchise. His new film The Grey is only serious. Unfortunately, there is a good chance that it will not fit into any venue where it is shown. The first half of this film has all of the Jack London-esque white-knuckle action that you could ever want from a man-versus-nature film. This is why it probably will not be accepted by the art house crowd. Mid-way through the film, the tone changes and the simple action film becomes more introspective. It begins to push big ideas about spiritualism and nihilistic philosophies. This does not bode well for the cineplex moviegoer either. The change in tone is only a distraction and a disappointment to the viewer who would rather see the first half again. While Liam Neeson does lend a certain gravitas to his fleshed out character, he should have lent this film a script that was not so weighed down with unneeded profanities. While Neeson’s acting performance was well done, even better was the superb photography by Masanobu Takayanagi. Costarring in this survivalist action film were Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Frank Grillo, Nonso Anozie and Joe Anderson.

      The Grey makes no bones about keeping you tense and even throwing in a few scares along the way. If you can manage to ignore the overabundance of atheist allegory in this film you might appreciate the portions that were simply a suspenseful action movie. Joe Carnahan, take John Ottway’s advice. The next time you make an action film, “give me something real.”

Underworld: Ad Nauseum

White Wolf, Inc. and author Nancy A. Collins filed suit against Sony Pictures, Screen Gems, and Lakeshore Entertainment on September 4, 2003 for copyright infringement. The suit, which included 17 counts of copyright infringement, was filed just a week before the theatrical release of the original Underworld. Collins alleged that there were over 70 points of unique similarity between White Wolf’s vampire role-playing games and the movie Underworld. Collins is the author of a short story, The Love of Monsters, published in 1994 by White Wolf Inc, which she claims is the basis for the entire plot of Underworld. The suit was settled out of court, for an undisclosed amount.

Underworld: Awakening is the fourth film in this franchise. Shortly after the conclusion of Underworld: Evolution, the vampire huntress Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is captured and incapacitated by humans. When she awakes, she finds herself in a world that is unfamiliar. Her body has been resting for many years in a deep hibernation inside of a human science laboratory. During this time, the humans that were once oblivious to vampires and lycans have now discovered their existence. Only a small fraction of the vampires and lycans have survived after the eradication campaign that was waged on them. While escaping the laboratory, Selene stumbles across a young girl named Eve (India Eisley) who has an interesting attribute. Her eyes have the blue pigment of a vampire and lycan hybrid. If this is true, she must be the descendant of Michael, the first hybrid and Selene’s love. Now, the last Death Dealer must rally the remaining vampire covens and lead them into a massive war against humanity.

The young Swedish directorial duo of Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stien will take the place of Len Wiseman for this fourth installment of the Underworld franchise. Their lack of years in the business may be exactly why their work seems so inexperienced. While there may not be any zombies in this monster film, it certainly feels like there are. The pacing plods along and drags its leg the entire time. Rest assured, if you decide to take a half an hour break to the restroom or snack counter you are not going to miss any important plot developments. Like the living dead, all you will desire is more brains. Even the special make-up and CGI graphics seemed inadequate compared to the previous films in this series. Computerized graphics that should have been impressively fluid only ratcheted whenever the characters joints moved. Facial make-up that was intended to be frightening was actually not worthy of a child’s Halloween costume. If Patrick Tatopoulos does not return to do the make-up effects, consider it a stake through the heart of this series. Costarring in the bloodbath of an action film are Stephen Rea, India Eisley, Wes Bentley, Michael Ealy and Kris Holden-Ried. Cameo appearances were made by Scott Speedman and Bill Nighy.

If you are a follower of this fantasy horror series, you may find this an entertaining way to waste two hours. Unfortunately, you are just as likely to find that it does not meet the standard of the movies that went before. No matter how much action, gore and tight leather you pack into a movie, without a story to support them, you will find yourself bored.

Just Who is Getting Robbed?

      Contraband is based on an Icelandic film named Reykjavik-Rotterdam. When the Icelandic film was made, the young actor Baltasar Kormákur had not yet begun his directorial career. In Reykjavik-Rotterdam, Kormákur played the lead role of Kristoph. Under the directional tutelage of his predecessor, Mark Wahlberg will now be playing the same role with a more Americanized handle of “Chris Farraday”.

In Contraband, Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) is an ex-international drug smuggler with a reputation for once being the best in the business. Since he has cleaned up his act, he has married his wife Kate, had two sons and built his own security alarm company. Just when it seems he will never have to deal with the life he abandoned, his wife’s youngest brother Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) attempts to take up the trade. When he botches a job for the ruthless crime boss Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), he is put into the hospital. Now he has an enormous debt that would be impossible to pay off without breaking the law. If Andy dies before the debt is collected, his sister Kate will be responsible for paying it. Farraday is now forced to save his family by doing what he does best, smuggling illegal goods across national borders. With the help of his friend Sebastian Abney (Ben Foster), the reluctant smuggler gathers together his old crew. One final run to Panama stands between him and the security of his family. But within hours of his target, complications begin to arise.

This is Kormákur’s first American movie. Maybe that is why it always seemed that he was playing it a little too safe. This film should have been anything but safe. All of the ingredients for a successful action flick are here. Even so, something is still absent from this heist. The characters are so formulaic and one-dimensional that it is a struggle to even care what happens to them. As the plot becomes more convoluted, it is also more clumsy and harder to believe. Throughout the movie, Farraday’s cohorts and opponents refer to him as a “top-notch Houdini of smugglers.” If he is actually that skillful and suave, then why is he always so flummoxed when he hits stumbling blocks that most would consider obvious? It seems that Wahlberg is not putting all his effort into this potboiler of a January action film. Just like the “Marky Mark” days of old, Wahlberg has matured beyond movies like this one. Some of the best scenes were those starring Ben Foster. His intensely profound gaze always makes the viewer wonder what is really happening. Costarring in this international heist film are J.K. Simmons, Kate Beckinsale, Lukas Haas, Diego Luna and William Lucking.

While it is better than some January releases, it is appropriate for Contraband to be shown at the beginning of the new year. This is the kind of typical no-think action escapism film that usually packs theaters after the Oscar crowds have thinned. But these characters are so banal and dreary that escapism may not be the right word. Remaking Reykjavik-Rotterdam gives Kormákur another chance to play the smuggler. The only difference is this time he will be running your ticket price across the Icelandic border.

New to DVD: Midnight in Paris

Ernest Hemingway used to refer to his peers as a “lost generation.” Hemingway revealed that the phrase was actually originated by the garage owner who serviced Gertrude Stein’s car. When a young mechanic failed to repair the car in a way satisfactory to Stein, she shouted, “You are all a generation perdu. That is what you are. That’s what you all are. All of you young people who served in the war, you are a lost generation.”

In Midnight in Paris, the young couple Gil (Owen Wilson) and Inez (Rachael McAdams) are travelling to Paris as a tag-a-long vacation on her parents’ business trip.  Gil is a successful Hollywood screenplay writer, but he gets no pleasure out of it. Thinking he will find satisfaction, he begins to write a novel and only finds a new struggle. Upon arrival in Paris, the aspiring writer is enamored with and inspired by the famed City of Lights. He would like to move to Paris after marrying Inez. However, the bride-to-be does not share his romanticized idea of the city. She also does not agree with his anachronistic notion that the 1920’s were the “The Golden Age.” When Gil wants to take in the history of the city late at night, Inez simply goes dancing with her pedantic friends. Walking the streets of Paris at midnight, Gil finds the inspiration that his novel has been lacking. When these strange evening strolls become an every-night habit, the family begins to question Gil’s sanity and motivations.  These walks will take him closer to the heart of Paris but more distant from the woman he is about to marry. Soon Gil will have to confront the fact that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Writer and director Woody Allen’s recent film Midnight in Paris comes out of the middle of left field. Not many people were expecting a sentimental and whimsical film from someone who is a self-proclaimed cynical fatalist. Much like the protagonist, this movie takes us on a magical stroll through an enchanting city. You could call this film a love story. But do not let that label deceive you into thinking that this is a traditional rom-com. This love story is about the love of a city, time, art, nostalgia, and one’s self. Owen Wilson does a terrific job of playing a Woody Allen surrogate. All of Woody’s eccentricities and long-winded ranting shine through. Not only does he succeed at mimicking Allen’s mannerisms, he also manages to make the character his own. This film is populated by many of the authors, painters and boisterous personalities of Paris’ Lost Generation. Some include F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston), Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll), Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates) and Salvador Dali (Adrien Brody). If you are a bibliophile or art enthusiast like me, it is the vast array of interesting supporting characters that will win you over.

Woody Allen has made a movie every year for the last 20 years but this one stands out above the perfunctory throng. Light hearted, charming and entrancing as the City of Lights itself, Midnight in Paris is a cinematic movable feast.  It is wonderful to know that Hollywood has found The Lost Generation again.

Horse Sense

While Michael Morpurgo was writing his 1982 book War Horse, he interviewed World War I veterans and researched horses of the period. An elderly man recalled to him that when the army came to town they bought as many horses from the residents as possible. Horses were used for cavalry and as draught animals, pulling guns, ambulances and other vehicles. After the war was over, one million British horses had died. Morpurgo extrapolates the total of equine casualties caused by World War I to be close to 10 million.

      War Horse details the extraordinarily strong bond between a boy and his horse. At the onset of World War I, many English families are struggling just to get food on the table. This is the plight of the Narracott family. If the handicapped veteran Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan) cannot plow the fields and plant a productive crop, his family will soon find themselves in the poor house. In a final act of desperation, Ted spends most of the family funds on a thoroughbred pony that he will train to work as a plow horse. Much to his chagrin, Ted cannot get the pony broken. Fortunately, his son Albert (Jeremy Irvine) instantly connects with untamed horse whom he names Joey. Over time and much training they become dear friends. When England goes to war, the Narracott family is forced to sell Joey to the British Cavalry. As Joey tries to return to his master he touches the lives of everyone he comes into contact with, including British and German soldiers.

Steven Spielberg’s new film War Horse is based on the children’s book by Michael Morpurgo. It offers us the rare opportunity to see both sides of the director’s personality. On one side we get a glimpse of a less sanguine Saving Private Ryan Spielberg. The scenes of trench warfare are grimly riveting and will capture your attention. The director’s ability to create a powerful image has not diminished in the least. It is very effective when you see battle hardened soldiers flying like rag dolls. On the other hand, we also see the unabashedly emotional E.T. side of Spielberg. The bearded maestro never fails to tug at our heartstrings. This film goes to great lengths to show that even though the story is set against the backdrop of No-Man’s Land, it is not an “us vs. them” story. No matter what their national allegiances, the characters in War Horse are written as people. While this is true, these characters are still very calculated and lack the subtlety that real people have. Characters were introduced in an obvious manner, almost as if Spielberg felt that we would not understand if he did not drive home the point. Costarring in this family friendly picture are Emily Watson, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Thewlis and Eddie Marsan.

Often in this film old-fashioned styles and filming methods summon up memories of cinematic classics like Gone with the Wind. Because the material itself is quickly absorbing, emotionally driven and only enhanced by the vast and beautiful landscapes of 1914 Europe, War Horse is a very watchable film. You could say that War Horse makes good “horse sense.”

Let Sleeping Dragons Lie

Swedish journalist Stieg Larsson died November 9^th of 2004 in Stockholm at the age of 50. He suffered a heart attack after climbing seven flights of stairs to his office because the elevator was not working. Larsson left behind manuscripts of three completed but unpublished novels. He had written them for his own pleasure in his free time and had made no attempt to get them published until shortly before his death. The first was published in Sweden in 2005 as Män som hatar kvinnor, which literally means “Men who hate women.” It was titled for the English market as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Larsson never lived to see how successful his manuscripts would become.

The wealthy industrialist Henrik Vanger hires a skilled yet disgraced reporter Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig). His assignment is two-fold. Blomkvist is to research the sudden disappearance and suspected death of Henrik’s niece, Harriet Vanger; a death that occurred 40 years ago. The second step is that he must disguise his work from the Vanger family. Henrik states that his rotten family tree is a collection of Nazis, anti-semites, sexual deviants and unstable recluses. All of them could have been responsible for this long since cold crime. But as the Swedish proverb says, “What is hidden in snow, comes forth in the thaw.” Blomkvist hires a pierced, tattooed and anti-social computer hacker named Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) to assist him in organizing the many skeletons in the Vanger family’s closet. The deeper they dig for the truth, however, the greater the risk of being buried alive by members of the family, who will go to any length to keep their secrets tightly sealed.

In the recently made American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, David Fincher channels Sweden’s arctic climate into the atmosphere of his film. In a stroke of luck, Sweden’s coldest winter in 20 years provided him with a setting that was just as unforgiving and austere as the films characters. Based on the first novel of the literary blockbuster Millennium Trilogy by the late Stieg Larsson the movie is certainly not for those who are faint of heart. Fincher provides a perverse cocktail of lurid passions that simultaneously repulse and hypnotize an audience. Mara was the picture of total role commitment. She aptly portrays Lizbeth Salander as someone who is damaged and vulnerable but at the same time explosively vengeful. Many have compared Mara’s performance to Noomi Rapace’s in the lesser known 2009 Swedish version. Was it a cash grab to remake this film that was already done well only two years ago? Realistically, no. How else do you tap a market of people who are willing to read a 700 page novel but refuse to read subtitles? Costarring in this mystery were Robin Wright, Stellan Skarsgård, and Christopher Plummer.

While Larsson’s story portrays evil and the criminal mindset in a more honest way than we are used to seeing, it isn’t exactly escapism. Almost three hours of grisly crime may actually be more of a downer than anything. Containing two highly graphic scenes of rape, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is decidedly “the feel bad film of this Christmas season.”

 

Great Snakes!

In the opening scene of The Adventures of Tintin, the title character is having a caricature portrait painted by a street artist. The painter is surrounded by many other paintings that he has for sale. These are actually the characters featured in various Tintin books and as shown in the inside covers of every Tintin book. The street artist himself was actually styled to look like Georges Prosper Remi, aka Hergé, the author of the original books.

A young journalist named Tintin (Jamie Bell) has just purchased a highly detailed model ship named The Unicorn. Soon, a mysterious man named Ivanovich Sakharine (Daniel Craig) eagerly tries to purchase the ship from Tintin for more than its actual value. When the boy will not sell his new find, Mr. Sakharine zealously resorts to extreme measures. He murders the FBI operative following him and kidnaps Tintin and his loyal dog, Snowy. Now on a cargo ship bound for Morocco, Tintin must escape the mutinous crew assisted only by the drunkard Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis). The captain tells the young journalist of his ancestor Sir Francis Haddock who was forced to scuttle the real Unicorn after being attacked by the privateer forebear of Sakharine. Luckily, he managed to save part of his treasure and leave behind clues written on small scrolls hidden in the model ships. Now that both Sakharine and Tintin are in possession of scrolls only one is left. This one is owned by the Sheik of Bagghar who keeps it under heavy security. Now this boy hero, his dog and the captain must get the third scroll and fulfill Sir Francis Haddock’s prophecy that “only a true Haddock will know the secret of The Unicorn.”

This year Tintin’s many adventures have taken him as far as Hollywood! Greats of the cinema Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson have teamed up to bring everyone’s favorite ginger haired journalist and part-time adventurer to the big screen. The Adventures of Tintin is only the first of two films that will span three different books including The Secret of the Unicorn, Red Rackham’s Treasure and The Crab with the Golden Claws. This whimsical whirlwind adventure that will take Tintin across tumultuous seas and bone-dry deserts is fun from beginning to end. The pace rarely ever slows to a sprint which enhances Spielberg’s several Raiders of the Lost Ark style chase scenes. Motion caption technology is used to give Hergé’s simplistic cartoon characters all the minute imperfections that any real person would have. These details are so immersive that it is easy forget the story and just concentrate on the beautiful art. In the first act, some moviegoers maybe rather confused about who Tintin really is. Spielberg never really provides a fully developed backstory for the world traveled boy adventurer. However, this may have been intended. Hergé gave Tintin very little background so that his readers would have an easier time relating to the book’s namesake. Costarring in this film were Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Cary Elwes, and Toby Jones.

You can see that Spielberg has put his love of the original books into this film. That same joy is contagious. It is always nice when you can leave a theater smiling. If all other 3-D adventure family films would live up to the standard set by ambitious sleuths like Hugo and Tintin, taking the kids to the theatre would be much more entertaining.

New Year’s Eve Drops The Ball

There is an old folk tale which has become known as “Stone Soup.” In this tale a group of starving wayfarers deceives an entire village into helping them make a delicious stew from only an iron pot and some riverbed stones. This old fable has been used in several different cultures to teach cooperation especially during times of scarcity. However, it also teaches us the more cynical lesson that if you systematically distract your audience’s attention with flash and pizzazz, there is a chance they will not even realize the soup they are eating has rocks in it.

Whether you love it or hate it, almost all of us can say that they have had the experience of watching the Times Square Ball drop. The recent film New Year’s Eve follows the lives of many New Yorkers as they intersect and intertwine with each other. One woman named Claire Morgan (Hilary Swank) has been charged with supervising the world famous ball drop. When an electrical short in the ball causes it to hang suspended over the crowds of revelers, Claire must solve this problem before the clock strikes midnight. Meanwhile, a woman named Laura (Katherine Heigl) caters a gig for the superstar musician Jensen (Jon Bon Jovi). She was deeply hurt last year because he left for a tour immediately after proposing to her. Still, she finds that she loves him. New Year’s Eve celebrates love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts, in a web of stories told amidst the pulse and promise of New York City’s most dazzling night of the year.

Garry Marshall, the director responsible for Valentine’s Day, Runaway Bride and Pretty Woman gives us more of the same. This movie got a bad reception when it came out last year. The only difference is back then it went by the name of Valentine’s Day. The movie is a course in how a “Movie Mad-Libs” mentality flourishes in Hollywood. The script is prewritten for you. Simply insert 20 stars and you will have a profitable movie. The main problem is that the movie’s characters are badly underdeveloped. It is not possible to divide two hours of content into 10 different storylines and expect the characters to be profound or moving. By the time the film is over, you feel like you just met them because, in fact, you did. Most of the dialogue in this film is a deluge of dreck that is vapid, sappy and generally boring. You could easily find the same platitudes on the inside of a greeting card. When an undefined lay-about character played by Aston Kutcher is an acting highlight, it speaks volumes about the rest of the film. This rom-com was so jam packed with costars that all of them could never be listed in one review. A few included Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Sarah Jessica Parker and Halle Berry.

If you are looking for romantic comedy with an ensemble cast that is themed around a holiday do yourself a favor and rent “Love Actually.” You might actually get an enjoyable viewing experience out of it. When Matthew Broderick’s cameo is just a pretext to name his character “Buellerton,” it is time to ring in the New Year and call it a night. “Should auld acquaintance be forgot?” Who is to say? But by the time the ball really does drop, the acquaintances of this film will have long been forgotten. No matter how many stars Garry Marshall dumps into the gumbo of this film his viewers are still going to notice the giant stone sitting in their bowl.